Symbols and Transformations

Three things occurred, which taken alone mean nothing, but when viewed within the context of the events of my life during the last two weeks take on a somewhat symbolic meaning. The first, and the most memorable, occurred after purchasing an expensive but beautiful bouquet of purple-esque roses in Big City, the blooms of two of those roses snapped off their stems; The second was the ongoing proximity of Mars, as close to earth as it has been in 60,000 years; and the third occured in the psychology hall of the University I am going to attend in the fall, where I had a major sense of deja vu.

Yesterday, I made the long 2-hour drive to the University and did some exploration. I'm thinking that I may need an apartment down there, but reluctant to make drastic changes, I've been considering commuting instead. I've not made up my mind yet. Nevertheless, among the many things that I did yesterday, besides delivering my undergrad. transcripts noting my reciept of an English degree and besides my obtaining a student I.D., I walked around the surrounding neighborhoods looking for apartments that I might consider renting. Part of my internal struggle over the question of moving is that the rent where I currently live - admittedly a slum - is decidedly cheap. If I rent the cheapest apartment I could find near the University, it would still cost more than the combined price of rent and monthly gas where I live now. I'm also certain that the new place, although close to the college, has more noise, crime, and general rowdiness than where I live now too: It'll be a tough decision. However, this has been the week for changes, so I might just make the leap after all.

According to some, we live in a culture of fear where we overestimate our vulnerability to harm as it is channeled through our prejudice. Could I be projecting and overestimating my own fear? I don't think so, but it is something to think about. Of course, I'll keep you posted on the situation - literally.