Thursday, June 04, 2026

June Worries

Still depressed about the state of things and the immediate future. Being older means that you have more things to think about, if only because you have lived more life than others. 

I struggled to get out of bed this morning. Thinking about failed relationships while also surfing too much on the social media apps on my phone. I lay in dim light trying to pray for insight into my problems, and a vision for how to come back to a less lonely existence filled with the simple comforts of life without worry for how to pay for the basics of the physical minimum: food and rent mainly.

Eventually, I got out of bed, said morning prayers, and got dressed. Right now, my course in life seems to be to wait for disaster to change things. I wish I was more proactive, but my mood and physical well being, which I am sure are intertwined, is preventing me from doing anything at the moment. Maybe a few micro-changes will help me get the ball rolling. We'll see.