Life explorations of a middle-aged man searching through the meanings and expectations of what could have been and what still might be.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Crossroads
So I guess I am going to stop stressing about how often I post here and just post whenever. Too often, I get to feeling like I should be posting here like every other day or once a week, but I am going to give that up. If I only post two or three times a month, so be it. Blogs can take up a lot of your time if you let them--obviously, right? Anyway, I figured I would at least check in here and post something. I am still going to blog occasionally and am not going anywhere. I didn't want anyone to think that I disappeared.
The school thing seems to be going as well as it normally does, except now it really is crunch time. I know I have said that before, but I really feel like this is my last chance to make it. If I can turn in three term papers at the end of the next three weeks, I will be in good shape and will be able to go to school in the winter. If not, I must make some changes. Anyway, I am enough caught up on school to where I think I can actually pull this off, but I am not going to focus on it too much. I just plan on keeping my head down, and putting my nose to the proverbial grindstone. We shall see what comes of all of this.
On the personal front, I think I am really making progress. I have been cooking my own breakfasts and dinners lately (even if the dinners usually only consist of George-foreman-grilled-chicken-breasts). I have even been to the gym three times this weeks. I may be over doing it right now, but maybe not. I think I can keep this up for a little while. Tonight, after laundry, I am going to be finishing my novel (50 pages to go) and writing my report for Monday's class. Then, I start in on reading my theory book, which will probably take me all weekend to do. Should be a full weekend.
The only really interesting things in my opinion, besides doing more work than usual, are the dreams I have been having lately. Usually, I walking am in a crowd of people, none of them with faces or anything, but all shorter than me. It is dark, like the inside of a movie theatre, and I am having a hard time fitting through small doors. Each door I walk through is really thin and cramped. I have to turn sideways and squeeze through. All of which winds up making me feel frustrated. I am not sure what these dreams mean, except maybe that I am trying to fit in somewhere and having a little trouble doing so. Who knows? Anyway, that's it for this blog post. More later sometime.