"And yet right here, in the spell of memory and imagination, I can still see her as if through ice, as if I'm gazing into some other world,
a place where there are no brain tumors and no funeral homes, where there are no bodies at all. I can see Kiowa, too, and Ted Lavender and Curt Lemon,
and sometimes I can even see Timmy skating with Linda under the yellow floodlights. I'm young and happy. I'll never die."
Today, I managed to go to campus and tkae care of a few things, not the least of which is a making an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. I need to talk with the doctor about increasing my medication if it is possible or advisable to do so. I only spent about twenty minutes waiting to see the triage nurse to discuss why I needed to see a doctor. For some reason, the student health center was packed with sick people: one had a pretty rough cough, and another had "pink eye." I know this because one of the nurses mentioned it to the staff at the front desk, and everyone overheard (about seven students.) I guess privacy about one's health is not something that students really have as much as older patients might. Generally, students are a pretty healthy lot anyway, and they don't have much experience with clinics anyway. Therefore, if one of the clinic staff mentions, in a rather loud voice, that "Richard" has "mono," Richard is not likely to complain about it.
Another minor success for today--I did some grocery shopping. I bought some hot dogs, tea, and chicken. I would like to go to Costco sometime to buy some stuff for the freezer, but to be honest, I am not sure if I am going to have to move in a couple of weeks or not, so stocking the freezer now might be a pointless exercise. I've been thinking about getting a job, about moving to another apartment, or about moving back in with my parents temporarily. Money is getting low, and school options are running out. I am still not sure what I need to do at this point, but I am fairly certain that I will know more by the end of the week.
:: z. 11:46 PM [+] Permalink ::
...
Tomorrow
Okay, so the optimism of the previous post might have been a little premature. I haven't accomplished much since Wednesday except catching up on too many naps. I am almost out of cash, and I needed to have written two fifteen page papers a month ago. I've lost my confidence, enthusiasm, and motivation for doing the work in the face of the failure to have done it before. And, I am not too sure what to do about it other than to keep trying until circumstances force a change.
Night Driving
Last Friday, I went for a drive around town looking at apartments that I might want to rent. (For a couple of reasons, I have to move out of the place I'm currently in, regardless of whether I have money or a job.) There seemed to be a nice place--sort of secluded, near the river and a park. It is very unlikely that I will move over there, but it was nice to think about it while I was looking. Of course, I don't want to paint too bleak a picture. There are some things I can do, and I am going to try and do a few of them tomorrow. The inertia of the moment feels like it is dragging me down a little bit, but I know I can work against it. As the cliche goes, tomorrow is another day.
:: z. 12:31 AM [+] Permalink ::
...
[-- Biographoria --]
I used to be a college graduate student majoring in English. For a year, I had worked hard as a Teaching Assistant
at a fairly large Northwestern USA grad school. I've spent a few years reading all about Derrida, Lacan, Lyotard, and all of the other standard theoretical English fare. According to my ex-girlfriend, I am an incrediblenerd, a Star Trek and Futurama watching "Nerd," something on the scale just below
pocket protectors. Living on the Northwest coast of Amercia, I currently divide my time between studying
Graphic Design, learning to enjoy the
constant rain, and devoting hours to watching television; and with any remaining time, I plaintively search
for any place I can encounter a dark corner equipped with WiFi, so ensconced in a virtual cellar with my laptop, I can shoot off ill-considered
words into the further developing reaches of cyberspace.
[-- Bloggavista --]
While surfing through the effusive waves of the net, I found these following blogs somewhat interesting for various reasons; you might too. Then again, you might not:
Today, I managed to go to campus and tkae care of a few things, not the least of which is a making an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. I need to talk with the doctor about increasing my medication if it is possible or advisable to do so. I only spent about twenty minutes waiting to see the triage nurse to discuss why I needed to see a doctor. For some reason, the student health center was packed with sick people: one had a pretty rough cough, and another had "pink eye." I know this because one of the nurses mentioned it to the staff at the front desk, and everyone overheard (about seven students.) I guess privacy about one's health is not something that students really have as much as older patients might. Generally, students are a pretty healthy lot anyway, and they don't have much experience with clinics anyway. Therefore, if one of the clinic staff mentions, in a rather loud voice, that "Richard" has "mono," Richard is not likely to complain about it.
